It’s 8:04 pm on a rainy day. It’s winter rain, you know! I spent most of the day in my room and went out only once, 10-15 minutes ago, to take a walk. By the way, today I watched two movies, back-to-back, one Punjabi and one English. I usually never watch Punjabi Movies but for some reason, I watched one today. Amrinder had recommended it to me. I take his recommendations kinda seriously. So, after watching those movies, I went out. It was not raining anymore, though, a cool breeze was flowing. I was wearing a Cap and a synthetic leather jacket. These two acted like a raincoat for me. So, on my walk back, when it started dribbling, I was saved.
Regardless, I am going to talk about humility today. I have just finished talking to my mother. Back home, my brother was putting a polythene sheet on the roof of our old storeroom because it is leaky. All other rooms have got a concrete roof – so no worries there! But, this ‘Leaky Roof’ thing and ‘My Walk’ got me thinking – about rain, about leaky roofs, about poverty, and about an article, I read today about poor living conditions of Prostitutes in West Bengal.
I spend most of my day – working for my future, thinking about my career, and some of it – enjoying the present moment, like drinking that leisure cup of tea or reading a classic novel. But, when I was having ‘My Walk’, I instantly felt guilty. I don’t know, why! It was just plain guilt.
I was enjoying this rain – the essence. But then I thought that there must be thousands of people or even lakhs, who must be having a really bad day because it is raining so hard in winter. Those people who do not have a warm bed to go, or who have leaky roofs, or who need to travel on their two-wheelers to earn a livelihood.
So, it is such an irony when I think a little deeper about it. The thing that I was enjoying so much can be so bad for someone! Even though my ‘not-enjoying’ this weather is not going to help those people in any way, I still felt guilty.
I came back to my ‘warm’ hostel room and I am typing on my laptop. Even this laptop proves that I am privileged, and the fact that I can type so fast without even looking down on the keyboard shows that I have got some good parenting. This again sends me some extra guilt when I think about that child who works in the Hostel Mess. His parents are no more alive and he has to work to fill up his tummy. For the record, I never needed to work, not even once, to fill my tummy (PRIVILEGE!!).
Here I must mention that there are a ton of people who are more privileged than me. I can count on things that will make it look as if I am not at all privileged! But that would be like lying to myself. I can seldom be less privileged than that child who works in the Hostel Mess. So, on this note, I promise myself that I will never forget that there are millions of people who are less privileged than me and that I will consider myself successful only when I bring some goodness to their lives.
At this point, I must tell you, that I really want to be successful!